Thursday, April 23, 2009

Gooch: First Blood

UPDATE: I'm getting sporadic boners today. This will not bode well at the massage. Our lady of the Blessed Flacidity, please shine down upon thine penis.


I'm getting a massage today. I'll admit that the masseuse is a hot chick, but I've visited her a few times and I'm comfortable with her. I'm just not used to getting undressed in front of a good looking girl unless, you know, there's alcohol involved.


"Gooch," you ask, "don't you mean that you're just not used to getting undressed in front of a good looking girl?"


Very funny, asshole.


I'm moving at the speed of Gooch. I've coasted through some decent paying gigs this week. I'm getting the massage today. I've eaten a ton of sushi. I feel like a princess, except I'm a dude. A dude princess.


I HATE getting drunk and having heart to heart conversations. I used to think they were sweet moments but now I look back on everything that I say, even when just buzzed, and cringe for some reason.


I'm not a people person this week.


I'm not a role model, well, ever.


Shalom, fuckers.


goochout.

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