GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

Before the band Perfect in Plastic became defunct, we half-heartedly passed around lyrics for a rap song via email. It was supposed to be pretty much about geeking out, downloading files, using the internet, and computers in general. Here was my portion, written to be rapped on my behalf. MCP means "Microsoft Certified Professional," which I am. Mistakris was one of the members of PiP and opened up one of his songs with "I'll fuck your Mom in the ass," which made me laugh through shock value alone. Rocco Siffredi and Ron Jeremy are porn stars. 97060 is the zip code for Troutdale, where I live. Adobe Acrobat is what generates .pdf files. "Ho" is short for "honey."

I'm the MCP of PiP
Mistakris'll fuck your mom in the ass
I'll tape it and burn it to DVD
put an mp4 on a CD
show it to my friends on WebTV
rip the audio to mp3

Napster's in the crapster
and Kazaa's the shiznit
there's a fine line between real and counterfit
I'm an idiot downloading shit
from Korn to porn
From midnight 'til 6 in the morn

Ing
Filling up hard drives
like it's no
thing

The record industry just wasn't ready
Now I'm fucking them like I'm
Rocco Siffredi

Or Ron Jeremy
now they think they're scarin' me
With their peer to peer virus
I'm gonna lock 'em in a room and
make them listen to Billy Ray Cyrus

That oughta do it...
My girlfriend said screw it
Kicked me out of the house
'cause I spent to much time on the mouse
and not the cat
She put my eviction notice on Adobe Acrobat

Now I'm living in nine-seven-oh-six-oh
I had a good girl
Now I need a ho
People tell me I'll find one someday
I don't got time for that shit
I'll get one off Ebay