GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

What the fuck? - I forgot to set the alarm/lock the doors on my car Monday night. Someone went in and pulled all of the contents of the center console and glove compartment and put them on the passenger seat. What they actually shuffled but didn't take was a large check made out to me, a $40 portable radio that I wear only when I work out (so it's like brand new), a $25 five-D-cell Mag-Lite flashlight that could have been used to kill me should I have stumbled onto the perpetrators in action. They could have even taken my bottle of ephedrine, if not for anything but to catch a buzz. What was stolen out of the Goochmobile? About $.89 in change out of the ashtray. They left the ashtray, which is $40 part from Ford that fits in the cupholder. So my net loss was spare change, which hurt a lot at the drive-thru when I couldn't produce exact change. I even had the Ford parked in the south parking lot of the Gooch Compound, which is right under my bedroom window.

Welcome to Gresham, baby.

RAPE... RAPE?