GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

We've got rain now, but this weekend was beautiful. I went for a walk downtown with a girl, drank beer on a restaurant patio with the same girl. Cleaned my barbecue and barbecued myself some lunch outside. Normally, I would seldom make note of the weather, but when I'm able to stand on my patio and smell the sweet smell of meat cooking over propane, it's an indescribable good feeling that even I can't even put it into words. I'm going to make this spring/summer the best ever. I'm going to barbecue every day and never say no to an invitation to someone else's barbecue. I'm gonna do stuff. I'm gonna have sex with multiple anonymous partners. Some at the same time. I'm going to drink incessantly. I'm going to look for a job. Just kidding. I'm going to learn how to smoke cigarettes. I'm going to siphon gas from my neighbor's car ("excuse me sir, do you put premium gas in your car? Just curious."). I'm going to host a lingerie party at my house and only let the beautiful people waiting outside my door in, Studio 54 style. I'm going to put a brass pole in my living room. I'm going to borrow a friend's car and speed past photo radars around town, smiling and flipping off the cameras. I'm going to run with scissors. I'm going to put a bug zapper outside and stare at it for four-hours straight. I'm going to work as a bouncer and randomly deny people admission to the bar/club.

I'M SORRY, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO ALLOW GIRLS UNDER 120 POUNDS INTO THE BAR. IT'S BAR POLICY.
I COULD LET YOU TALK TO THE MANAGER, BUT I'D HAVE TO LET YOU IN, WHICH WOULD VIOLATE POLICY.