Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Letters to the Predator:

To John "The Gooch" Gallucci:

In the interest of creating a fair and unbiased educational tool for the mass population that is your readership, I feel compelled to take you up on your offer to post replies, commentary, and general bullshit-busting hyperbole on your blog. Usually I can find an intellectual middle-ground between my own beliefs and the ideas you so generously impart to your readers (mostly alcohol-induced, if I understand correctly?). However, I find your recent comments regarding the work atmosphere in a bar/pub/club to be wholly shortsighted and fantastically prejudiced.

In short, you dumb-ass, open your fucking eyes and give the women in the food/drink service industry credit for having half a brain when it comes to being hit on by drunken assholes while on the job. If a chick's a slut, then she'll be a slut whether she gets sweated while working at Target, the post office, Nordstrom or Congress. Just because you were idiot enough to PICK one of those sluts to date, undate, redate, an undate again does NOT mean that you can ascribe the same behavioral patterns that she displayed to female bartenders/cocktailers/waitresses in general. It's the WOMAN, not the JOB you should worry about. Okay, unless she's a hooker.

Pffffft. Tard.

'Kay, love you! Glad your work-out regimen is going well! 9 pounds!!!! That's awesome! Greek Festival this weekend..... mmmmmm.... hummus....

JNAU


Response: You're absolutely right. Apologies to my service industry lady friends. Plus, comments like mine on the blog in question really aren't conducive to me getting laid at all. Neither was that last sentence. Fuck. My postings aren't mostly alcohol induced, merely somewhat alcohol induced as of late. Dammit, JNAU writes better than me. "Fantastically prejudiced?" Love it.

And one more...

Hey! We're just trying to learn the Gooch-way! You're making out with chicks that we only dream about making out with. You're the lucky one, dude! I can't even make out with the bar bitches at Putters on Woodstock! The Gooch-way: It's the only way. (take that one to the bank!) Perhaps us not-making-out-with-hot-chicks guys can learn a few things from the Goochmeister. Oh shit, I've got a girlfriend. Damn, I knew I was forgetting some random, mildly important detail.

GREGSTER: www.thedominoeffect.com

Response: Greg is the person who questioned what good looking girls "saw in me." Please know that for every hot chick that gets drunk and makes out with me, there's like four or five that you'd never, ever see or hear about. It's the law of averages. I make out with average looking chicks like it was a law to do so.

GOOCH:out

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