You might be the Gooch, if...
You've given a lecture on the ills of drinking while you yourself were still drunk from the night before.
You've turned down sushi for lunch because you already had it for breakfast.
You've urinated in or on any of the following while you were drunk: washing machine full of clothes, the entryway in various buildings, on a surge protector in a stranger's house, a sink, a bush, and/or a car.
You've been too drunk to DJ a strip club, but did so anyways.
You don't believe that sex with strippers should count against your total sex partner count.
You've "showered" with Axe body spray and "done laundry" with Febreze.
You can relate any conversation, any topic, any idea to an episode of South Park.
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