Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back problems, man.
I've been told that I remind people of Seth (Jonah Hill) in "Superbad." Someone told my girlfriend that she and I reminded her of Doug and Carrie from "King of Queens."
Because, you know, I'm funny like Kevin James. That's how my GF explained it to me. It's not because the show is about a fat dude with a hot wife. Which is what "According to Jim" is about. Which is what every sitcom on CBS is about. It's because I'm funny. That's it (girls snickering while martini glasses clink). If anyone knows of any other fat celebrities I remind them of, feel free to let me know. John Candy? Raymond Burr? Go ahead and push the bottle closer to my mouth.
Speaking of drinking to excess, I'm going to Reno this weekend for the Eldorado Italian Festival. Should be fun as always. I'll try to keep the blood alcohol level in the single digits.
Hayden Pannetierre is a hot chick. That's cool. She knows she's a hot chick, that's not cool. She's a chick that knows she's a hot chick and then acts like she doesn't think she is a hot chick. That's really uncool. I guess I'd need a hot chick that doesn't think she's a hot chick. I'd need a hot blind chick. Like Laura Dern in Mask.
Except, um... hot.
goochthefuckout
1 comment:
For you, I think more along the lines of Kevin Smith, when he's no playing Silent Bob. He's funny, of the larger size (NOT knocking this for I too share the same shape), and also has a hot wife. Only difference is is he's got a kid and you don't.
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