Thursday, August 07, 2008

Goochpourri

CNN: Military Jury Convicts Bin Laden's Driver On Some Charges

Bin Laden's Putter and Sand Wedge are still presumed to be at large.

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Stayed in last night. It was tough because I forgoed a few opportunities to go out. Everyone knows, however, that I live a life of disciprine and self control.

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Fox News: Jenna Jameson Pregnant
Who's her gynecologist... the crew from Discovery Channel's Coal? "Put on the mining helmets... she's having contractions!" I mean, this kid's going to walk out of that womb with an 8-ball in one hand and a reality show contract in the other. That's right... hop-skip-jump right out of there looking like Ron Jeremy and haunted by the souls of the billions of unborn babies spilled into socks and tissues thanks to Jameson's movies.

Gooch: All my sex... Jenna (1998)

She lied to me... the bitch LIED! Obviously I wasn't going to be the recipient of all her sex. I wasn't the recipient of any of her sex. Clearly a breach of contract. I demand prostitution!

Restitution... I meant restitution.

wakka wakka... indeed.
gooch:out

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