People that wouldn't pass a screen test on the most obscure cable-access show are putting themselves, their kids, their friends, and their goddamned pets in commercials.
It all started here* when Scott Thomason, local (alleged) pedophile and builder of a car sales empire here in Portland, Oregon started putting himself and his family in commercials. To his credit, he certainly was the first to explore doing something creative with his television ads. Some were good, some weren't; but they were all entertaining in contrast to the typical car sales pitch involving a camera on a crane over a corner lot.
Now, everyone is putting themselves on TV. A mattress selling pencil neck with a whiny voice is calling himself "Carpet Carl" on television and print ads. I've never heard of the guy, but since he's calling himself "Carpet Carl" I'm supposed to think that he's qualified to sell me a mattress? What the fuck do I care about him or his self-imposed nickname? Is this a desperate attempt on his behalf to get laid? I so desperately want to steal this guy's lunch money.
Another mattress/bed store has the husband and wife reading off of their cue cards stating something to the effect of "We'll beat the price on any mattress in town or it's free." I can't really imagine that scenario taking place:
"I can get this mattress elsewhere for $400"
"Whoa... we can't meet that price... I guess we'll have to give it to you for free."
Stupid.
I guess what I want to say is that business owners/managers should really consider whether or not your blatant self promotion is an effective sales tactic. Look around you; acknowledge these ads, and make fun of the people that are stroking themselves by paying to get themselves on TV.
*Actually, Tom Peterson (appliance sales) was the king of all local ads starring himself. He is a star, actually, with cameo appearances in a couple Gus Van Sant films.
Holy shit... Arsenio Hall is doing correspondence on Jay Leno's show. I disfuckingstinctly remember Arsenio stating "I'm going to kick Leno's ass." Look where you are now, Arsenio.
I'm tired, and I'm drunk. If the above doesn't make any sense, have a drink and reread. repeat the drinking until you can make this out.
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