Is a committed relationship really anything more than two people agreeing not to fuck anyone else?
When two people in a relationship go on a "break," isn't it really like a Mexican standoff to see who's going to fuck around on the other in the name of the "break?"
Is the DJ booth at the strip club ready for my return?
Will the girl that I plowed in to last night during soccer ever walk again?
Do the people at the Kaiser Building cafeteria know that I've stolen energy drinks from their unguarded bin near the back entrance for weeks now?
Is there a Mexican hex bestowed upon me by the housekeeper that cleaned my room (specifically the freshly vomited-in bathroom) in Reno?
Happy birthday, April.
Happy birthday, Judy.
Gooch:Out
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